In the hustle and bustle of #mumlife we can get so caught up in trying to keep all of those balls in the air that we often forget about ourselves. Well maybe it’s not that we ‘forget’ as such, but we don’t make ourselves a priority because we’re too busy caring for, and worrying about, everyone else and their needs. Sound familiar?
BUT HERE'S THE THING...
it is essential that you fill your mind, body and soul with love first and then give from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel!!! I’m sure you’ve heard this expression before, but have you really listened?! And more importantly, have you taken action? Consistently?
HERE'S WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT...
if you’re giving to everyone else while you’re running on empty then you’re giving from a place of lack. That’s where frustration and resentment can grow because others drain everything from you. You have nothing left for yourself. On the flip side, when you fill your soul first and can give from the overflow, you’re giving from a place of surplus and abundance. The giving doesn’t deplete you, you want to give! The difference in energy around these two is significant. And to be on the receiving end of someone giving from a place of surplus, rather than lack, is a beautiful experience.
Being the 'glue' is a heck of a responsibility
As mums we are usually the glue that keeps the family together and the household running smoothly…or chaotically, as is often the case in this fast-paced world we live in. That’s a heck of a responsibility, right?! But we accept that responsibility because…well #mumlife.
BUT I ENCOURAGE YOU TO PAUSE AND THINK FOR A MOMENT...
What would happen if you came unstuck? If you get so burnt out from running on empty that you are physically and/or emotionally incapable of keeping the family and the household together? Then what?
What example are you setting?
I ALSO ENCOURAGE YOU TO THINK FOR A MOMENT...
about the kind of example you’re setting for your children. As a mum I’m sure you want the best for your children. You give selflessly and love them unconditionally and completely, you encourage them and empower them to be the best humans they can possibly be.
what if your behaviour is actually undoing all of your hard work? By running yourself into the ground you are showing them that as a parent your needs, health and wellbeing don’t matter. Is that really the message you want to be sending to your children? As a parent how will you feel when your precious child becomes a parent themselves and begins to follow your example, giving to others until they’re completely depleted and run down? What would you tell them? Would you congratulate them for struggling through each day, feeling exhausted, fed up, sick, depleted? Or would you suggest that they take time for themselves, put their needs a little higher on the scale of importance, ease up on the caffeine and sugar and instead nourish and fuel their bodies out of love and respect, get out in the fresh air and get your feet in the earth to stay grounded and connected?
HERE'S THE PART WHERE YOU SCOFF AND SAY...
‘Ha, time for myself, yeah right. I can’t even go to toilet on my own so I can hardly find time for self care and self love’. Sound familiar? I get it! I've been there, I've lived it...it kinda sucked!
But I challenge you to be open to the idea of trying the things that I’ve listed below.
BUT FIRST, LET ME TALK A LITTLE ABOUT 'TIME'
'I don't have time for myself', 'there's never enough time', 'i'm too busy', 'I'll do it when I get time'...we hear these phrases EVERY SINGLE DAY right?!
Well, we all have the same number of hours in the day…every single one of us from Oprah and Richard Branson to the dishevelled mum who hasn’t managed to shower in a few days and can’t remember the last time she went to the toilet alone. THERE IS TIME!
It’s what we choose to do with our time that makes the difference. When we learn to focus on what matters to us, we can absolutely build the life we desire in the time we’ve got. But for now let’s get back to the most important thing you can do each day to ensure a better future for you and those you love…taking care of yourself!
The small things count!
Let me point out that self care doesn’t have to mean taking a large amount of time to do something extravagant. Self care includes the small things that take just a few short minutes. In fact, consistent small acts of self care will make a huge difference to your overall wellbeing. It’s also far more sustainable long term.
Small acts of self care can include:
Painting your nails, having a soak in the bath, reading your fave mag, sitting outdoors slowly sipping on a cup of tea, going for a walk in nature, colour in, gaze at the stars or the clouds, dance or sing, go to a movie, catch up on blog posts, attend a yoga class, do your hair...the list goes on.
IT'S MORE ABOUT THE INTENTION THAN THE ACT ITSELF...
What you do for self care isn't actually that important. Your intention and presence during the act of self care is what really matters. If you've decided to take a moment of self care then I urge you to be intentional about it. Recognise it for what it is 'self care', 'mindset moment, 'mindset reset' (whatever you're most comfortable with) and really feel into it. Enjoy it. Savour it. Be present in that moment. This can change the experience completely and give it so much more power!
Now, before you read on...
I know that for some of your reading this it's going to sound a bit airy fairy and you’ll immediately feel judgement rear its ugly head…I get it!!! I used to be exactly like that. I was sick, negative, a victim of my circumstances etc. I ‘knew’ that this breath work, meditation, self-love crap was not going to magically fix me. ‘Those people’ had clearly never been through what I was going through, I couldn’t just ‘think’ myself better. I mean, mindset was NOT going to fix my physical symptoms…they were real, they were disabling, they were NOT in my head! Blah blah blah, I get it! I hear you loud and clear!
I am not claiming that doing these things will ‘fix’ your life, your health, your family, your circumstances. But what they can do is equip you with tools to better cope with the challenges of life, maybe even lessen the impact they have on your daily life. And who knows, maybe they will help heal your body, mind and/or soul like they did mine.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE RIGHT?!
There often comes a point when you’re so overwhelmed or sick or unhappy or fed up that you decide ‘fine! I’ll try this airy-fairy mindset stuff? It can’t get much worse’ so you do...and you wish you had have committed to it sooner. I know that sure was the case for me.
Some of you may not be there yet and that’s totally ok. But if you do get to a point where things get too hard, too overwhelming, too painful, too much...remember this blog, come back to it, be open and courageous and give these things a try and just see what happens. It may just change your life!
Here are my top 5 acts of self care to prevent YOU from coming unstuck!
1. Breathe! Yep, make time to breathe...properly!
*WARNING: If you’re new to breath work please ensure that you’re sitting or laying down before trying this technique as you may become light headed.
By properly I mean mindful, intentional, deep belly breaths. Sounds easy and kinda insignificant right?
Well I encourage you now to take a deep breath and notice what happens to your body. Do you suck your belly in? Do your shoulders rise? For most people, the answer will be yes. Well, I'm sorry to tell you this but...that's is not a deep breath, in fact it’s the opposite.
I encourage you now to take another mindful breath, but this time rest your hand on your stomach and focus on breathing right down into your stomach and feeling it expand towards your hand. Then on the out breath focus on pulling your stomach in and expelling all the air from your lungs before taking your next breath.
This can be really challenging if you’re new to this so if you find it difficult I suggest you try it laying down first.
Once you understand the basic mechanics of a deep belly breath I encourage you to start each day with at least three deep, intentional and mindful belly breaths. Focus on filling your body with clean, fresh air and expelling all that stagnant air from your lungs. I also encourage you to do this at any point throughout the day that you’re feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed.
PLEASE DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE BREATH...
The benefits of correct breathing are profound. The main and most relevant for us Mumma’s out there is that it triggers the relaxation response. So, it moves us from the stress response, also known as fight or flight response, back into a relaxed state which is essential for our health and wellbeing. For more information on breathwork and how it can benefit your health and wellbeing please get in touch.
2. Adopt an attitude of gratitude!
Yep I know you’ve probably heard this before, it’s all the rage these days…But there’s a good reason for it! IT WORKS!
The law of attraction says that what you focus on expands, what you think about you bring about. So, if you learn to be truly grateful for all that you already have in your life, you will attract even more to be grateful for. Taking some time to either write or type at least 10 things each day that you’re grateful for gives it even more power and energy.
In addition to attracting more situations or opportunities to be grateful for, the other benefits to a daily gratitude practice include:
YOU CAN DO IT ANYTIME, ANYWHERE SO THERE'S NO EXCUSE!
Personally, I like to do write my gratitude first thing in the morning (reflecting on the previous day) so that my heart and soul are full of love and gratitude to begin each day. Some people like to do it before they go to sleep so they’re heart and soul is full of love and gratitude before drifting off to sleep. While others like to do some in the morning and some in the evening.
There’s no ‘best time’ to write your gratitude, the important part is that you do it. If you can commit to this simple daily practice it will absolutely improve your mindset and the way you view your life. And who doesn't want that right!
3. Create space for stillness/meditation!
Meditation is incredibly easy to incorporate into your daily life. In fact, you’re probably doing it without even being aware.
Anytime your mind is completely focused on a task without entertaining any other thoughts, that is meditation (eg washing dishes, brushing teeth, vacuuming, hanging out washing etc).
LET'S CLARIFY A FEW THINGS ABOUT MEDITATION...
Meditation is the antidote for the stress response.
People often say that they’ve tried meditation but it’s just not their thing or they’re no good at it or they’re not into that ‘spiritual, hippy stuff’. If you’re one of these people, then you’ll probably find that you haven’t tried the right style of meditation for you.
There are many different styles of meditation. Some are spiritual, some involve chanting and mantras, some involve prayer or visualisation while some simply involve observing your thoughts, being present in the now or concentrating on an object without entertaining any thoughts at all.
The style of meditation that works for you will depend greatly on your learning style.
Once you find the right meditation, it can completely change how you feel about it.
THE BENEFITS OF MEDITATION ARE PROFOUND IF PRACTISED REGULARLY...
so I encourage you to please open your mind and just give it a try. If you need advice or guidance on choosing the right style of meditation for you, then please get in touch.
Spending time in stillness need not be a long, time consuming ‘task’ that adds to your already busy schedule. Just five minutes immediately upon waking in the morning and/or five minutes before you go to sleep at night will have significant benefits to your overall health and wellbeing. Most people would spend far more than five minutes each morning and evening checking social media, right?!
4. Get grounded!
Take some time to get connected to mother earth through grounding, also referred to as earthing. There are so many incredible benefits to grounding. Some of these include:
For a really great video on grounding I recommend you check out ‘The Science of Grounding’ on YouTube.
MORE INFO ON GROUNDING...
You are still grounded through clothing and blankets etc. You don't have to have your bare skin directly in contact with the earth.
Incorporating some breath work with your grounding can have even greater benefits and leave you feeling amazing afterwards.
You can gain the benefits of grounding just by placing your hand on a tree trunk for a minute or so. The tree roots are grounded deep within the earth so by resting your hand on the tree trunk you are grounding 'through' the tree and gaining all the beautiful benefits. This option is perfect for those winter months when you're all rugged up and need to keep your shoes on, or the ground is wet or covered in snow.
For those green thumbs out there, gardening is a beautiful way to incorporate regular grounding into your life.
You can ground yourself through meditation. Please contact me if you want more information on grounding through meditation.
For those that like the idea of grounding but are not able to do it regularly, there are lots of alternative grounding/earthing options online that you may wish to consider. Some of these include grounding mats, sleep pads, earthing pillow cases, earthing wrist/ankle bands and many other devices to bring grounding indoors. However, the free and natural way of grounding will always be more beneficial in my opinion.
5. Find your people!
By this I mean, find those people that will lift you up, empower you, want to share their love and light, that are positive and committed to do what it takes to enjoy their lives.
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE AROUND...
so have a think about who you are spending your time with? What are they pouring in to you? Is it love, positivity and joy or is it negativity, victim-hood, judgement?
This is one of the MOST important factors in self care and self-love. Pay attention to the energy and words you’re allowing into your life. If you want to feel love, positivity and joy then you must be vibrating at a high frequency to attract those things into your life.
If you spend time engaging with (either in person, on the phone or online) people that are complaining, negative, victims, judgemental etc this will lower your frequency and you will not be a vibrational match for all of those good feelings and good things that you desire.
LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE! IT'S THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
If you take some time to tune in and raise your frequency, through self care and self love, you will attract more people into your world that are vibrating at that frequency.
And let me tell you, when you connect with other high-vibing, positive, loving, heart and soul centred people something truly incredible happens. If you have ever attended an event, class or workshop where these high-vibe people come together you will know exactly what I mean.
THE ENERGY AND LOVE IS PALPABLE...
And that feeling can linger within you for days…even weeks. If you are yet to experience this I urge to try it. Have a look for events, groups, classes, workshops in your area and then muster up some courage and go for it. It may just change your life! Or it may not, but at least you’ll have tried something new.
There are some beautiful groups online, and to find events in your area Facebook can be an excellent resource. Check out the ‘Events’ section on Facebook and see what’s happening in your local area.
If you’re interested in attending any of my workshops check out my ‘Events’ page on my website. ‘Overcome Overwhelm ~ Find Flow’ is a beautiful, empowering and informative workshop targeted at all of you Mumma’s out there so I encourage you to check it out.
Need some further guidance or a personal cheerleader?
As a Holistic Health Practitioner I work with clients one on one and in group settings both in person and online. I'm so grateful that by doing what I love each day I get to create a beautiful ripple effect on this earth.
If you're in need of some extra support then please reach out. You can drop a comment below, or contact me directly via email, phone, Facebook or Instagram.
I'd love to be your guide and cheerleader on your adventure back to You!
Heart and soul love, Jasmine Xoxox